


down and out (and missing home)

by lesbianchloeprice



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Feels, ELLIEDINA WEEK, F/F, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, day 1: ache, rated t for language i guess? i don't know how to rate things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianchloeprice/pseuds/lesbianchloeprice
Summary: “Hi El-wee.”A burst of wet laughter bubbled up in her chest as she hastily wiped her eyes, lower lip quivering as she smiled at her son, her precious boy, this physical manifestation of her heart outside of her own body.“Hey, potato.”OREllie comes home, and she aches, and aches, and aches.Until she doesn't.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & JJ (The Last of Us)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	down and out (and missing home)

Phantom pains.

Or at least that’s what Dr. Olson called them, the twisting, pins and needles sensation in her hand, right where her fingers used to be. For a while Ellie wondered if she was going crazy, feeling pain in appendages that were no longer there, but listening to the old doctor tell it, it was apparently much more common than she’d thought. Well, common enough to be discussed in the medical books from the old world, so it seemed.

That had brought her some modicum of comfort, at least, knowing she hadn’t lost her mind entirely.

The sun was dipping lower in the sky, painting the clouds with swirls of pink and orange in a display that was so  _ Jackson  _ that it almost hurt. Even after trekking her way across half of the country, she’s never come across a sunset quite as pretty. It filled her with a strange sense of nostalgia and regret that only worsened as she approached the front door to Jesse’s parents’ house, the butterflies in her stomach feeling more like a swarm of angry bees than anything else. 

Ellie forced herself to take a moment to breathe, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves, before bringing her hand up to knock. As she curled it into a fist, the dull ache that had been plaguing her all day sharpened into something worse, and she quickly shook it out, grimacing at the pain. Well,  _ that  _ was certainly new. 

Before Ellie had the chance to knock with her other hand, the door swung open, and her throat went dry at the sight that met her. Dina was standing on the threshold, an old apron tied haphazardly over her clothes, her raven curls loosely framing her face and landing just above her shoulders. Ellie remembered how shocked she’d been the first time she saw Dina after she got back--her hair had never been so short, but god, she had never looked more beautiful. 

“Hey,” Dina greeted, a little breathless. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks tinted pink, and unless Ellie was mistaken, she seemed just as nervous as she was. “You’re early.” 

“Yeah,” Ellie muttered, toeing an imaginary piece of dirt on the ground, eyes flickering towards the floor. “Sorry, I was just-” 

“It’s okay!” Dina rushed to cut her off, the corners of her mouth lifting into a soft smile as she paused to really take her in, her eyes doing a thorough once-over that made Ellie’s heart skip a beat. “It’s good to see you, El.” 

Suddenly it was like a weight had been lifted off of her, and Ellie felt her shoulders sag with relief. Their relationship was still so new and tenuous and fragile that every interaction felt monumental, like it would all come crumbling down with one wrong move. “It’s good to see you too,” Ellie replied, unable to disguise the relief in her voice. 

They stood there for several long seconds, just looking at each other, Dina’s eyes full of an emotion that Ellie couldn’t quite place, until they were interrupted by a little head poking out from behind Dina’s legs, and suddenly she froze. Though Ellie had been home for a few months now, this was the first time she’d seen him, really  _ seen  _ him up close, and for a moment it was like she’d forgotten how to breathe. 

Sure, she’d seen him from a distance, holding Dina’s hand while she walked him to school, toddling around Jackson and doing his best to keep up with the big kids, but it wasn’t until now that Ellie truly realized how much she’d missed. He was so big, looking more like a child than that tiny baby who spent countless nights cradled in her arms. His cheeks were round and rosy, dotted with just a few freckles, and framing his big brown eyes were the longest lashes Ellie had ever seen. His hair was longer now, falling around his face in loose ringlets, and she could see one of his dimpled hands as it clung to Dina’s leg. 

“Mama?” the toddler asked tentatively, glancing up at Dina with questioning eyes before looking back towards Ellie.

“Hey, buddy, I thought you were watching Scooby?” Dina was clearly caught off guard, her expression unsure as she absentmindedly smoothed his hair away from his face.

JJ shook his head before grabbing the end of her apron and tugging. “Mama, who that?” 

Hearing his sweet little voice was like a punch to the gut, and Ellie had to close her eyes in order to compose herself. Her fingers throbbed in a way that only seemed fitting, and she stuck both hands deep into her pockets, trying to ignore the lingering ache. 

“Oh,” Dina said, freezing as she looked at Ellie, her eyes wide with panic; and yeah, this was a  _ lot.  _ The little boy she thought of and loved as her son didn’t know her anymore. It hurt in a way Ellie had never felt before, like part of her soul had shriveled up and died right there, but now wasn’t the time for this. She could wallow in all the self pity in the world later, but right now, with Dina’s panicked uncertainty obvious, she needed to step up. She needed to do the hard thing.

“Hey, little guy,” Ellie said gently, squatting down until she was eye-level with JJ. He shied a bit, withdrawing into the skirt of Dina’s apron, but she just smiled patiently. “My name’s Ellie. I’m a friend of your mama’s.” 

“Fwiend?” he asked, curiosity seemingly getting the better of him as he took a hesitant step towards her. He glanced up at his mom as if seeking confirmation, and Dina nodded with a tight-lipped smile.

“Yeah, JJ. A friend.” 

That seemed to be enough for him, and he continued his slow approach until he was just a step away from Ellie. He cocked his head to the side almost like he was studying her, and Ellie prayed to whatever god might be listening that she could hold herself together for just a little longer. 

But then his arms were wide open, face set with a determination only a toddler could possess, and as he wrapped her in the biggest hug his little body could muster, Ellie felt the world stop around her. It only lasted a second, and she didn’t even have enough time to hug him back before he was withdrawing with a shy smile. 

“Hi El-wee.” 

A burst of wet laughter bubbled up in her chest as she hastily wiped her eyes, lower lip quivering as she smiled at her son, her precious boy, this physical manifestation of her heart outside of her own body. “Hey, potato.” 

The action of her wiping her eyes seemed to catch his attention, his little brows furrowing as he pointed at Ellie’s hand. “Ouchie?” 

Fuck, her fingers. She’d forgotten. “Oh, uh…” Ellie hesitated, unsure of whether she should try to explain or just hide it away and pretend like it never happened, but was interrupted when JJ grasped her hand. Ellie sat stock still in her crouched position, and she watched helplessly as JJ brought her hand closer to him, carefully studying it. 

“JJ, no-” Dina started to say, concern on her face as she reached towards him, but was stopped abruptly when she saw what he was doing. 

Slowly, and with all the care a toddler of his age could muster, he brought Ellie’s hand to his lips and pressed two soft kisses against her stumps. Ellie’s breath caught in her throat, and she realized somewhere in the back of her head that the tears she’d been holding at bay had spilled over, her cheeks wet as she watched him. 

“Der’,” JJ stated triumphantly, releasing his grip on Ellie’s hand. “Aw better, right Mama?” 

It took a moment for Dina to respond, a single tear staining her cheek as she watched the display. “That’s right, bud,” she said, voice thick with emotion. “All better.” 

Seemingly satisfied, the boy quickly darted back into the house, a big grin on his face. “C’mon, El-wee! See Scooby wif JJ!” 

Ellie laughed at his exclamation, taking a moment to wipe her face with the sleeve of her shirt. “Alright, Spud, I’m coming.” She stood on shaking legs and was about to follow him inside, when suddenly Dina’s arms were around her, wrapping Ellie in a vice-like grip as she buried her face in the crook of her neck.

Neither of them said anything, and after a moment Ellie slowly let herself return the embrace, eliciting a shuddering sob from Dina that had Ellie aching with regret, with longing, with something that felt a lot like  _ hope. _ They lingered in each other’s arms, clutching to one another like they were the only thing keeping them afloat in the middle of the ocean, and Ellie was certain she could stay here forever, until a little voice called out to them from the living room.

“Aw you  _ coming?!”  _ JJ shouted, and suddenly they were laughing, Dina rolling her eyes good-naturedly as she released her hold on Ellie.

“Jesse Joel, where are your manners?”

“Oh.” A pause, and then the sound of running footsteps, JJ peeking his head out from the other room with a bashful smile. “Aw you pwease coming?”

Ellie chuckled, sharing a look with Dina reminiscent of the looks they once shared way back when. “Yeah, Potato, I’m coming.” 

* * *

Ellie didn’t realize until she got back home late that night, her chest lighter than it had been in a long time, that the ache in her hand had been gone for hours.

**Author's Note:**

> ELLIEDINA WEEK BABEYYYY
> 
> I had something entirely different in mind for ache, and I ended up scrapping everything and starting over with this idea tonight, which somehow lead to me churning out an entire fic in the span of an hour and a half. I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time, and I hope you all enjoy it <3 
> 
> Come hang out and celebrate elliedina week with me on tumblr! You can find me at apocalypsebutch :) 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are endlessly appreciated <3


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